Dusk & Summer
by Kaitsy
Summary: Lily and James oneshot, a short moment between the two on a summer evening. The world seems to be moving at a faster rate than Lily can keep up with and James just happens to be her stability amongst it all.


**Note --**I'm on a bit of a roll with writing about summer. And when I say 'on a bit of a roll' I mean, this is my second oneshot about Lily & James and the summer.

I've been in this strange frame of mind and can't, no matter how I try, get out of it. My playlist is littered with songs about the summer and here's another -- Dusk & Summer, by Dashboard Confessional. And yes, the last line of the story is taken directly from the song but it fit so wonderfully that I couldn't help myself.

Forany of you who read All that Matters, and perhaps you're getting as tired as I am with the excuses, I promise to get back to it, as soon as I can. It's been a struggle and I don't think I said much different when I wrote the other oneshot and that's because not much has changed. I'm still stuck.

But this is just about Lily and it's not quite as happy as I meant for it to be, it has this tragic feel to it that I just went with. It's a bit too mushy and it's almost _entirely_ her thoughts on the world and the summer and James, so I quite understand it'd be a hard thing to read and actually enjoy. It jumps and doesn't make complete sense, but I just love this pairing, LoL. Feedback would be appreciated, though it's not necessary. It's so nice to justwrite something.

Pardon me for including the lyrics, they do belong to Dashboard Confessional, though. Take care, lovelies!

**"Dusk & Summer"**

**abc. **

_she smiled in a big way  
the way a girl like that smiles when the world is hers  
and she held your eyes, out in the breezeway  
down by the shore, in the lazy summer  
and she pulled you in, and she bit your lip, and she made you hers  
she looked deep into you as you lay together  
quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer _

_but you've already lost  
but you've already lost  
but you've already lost  
but you've already lost  
when you only had barely enough to hang on_

_and she combed your hair, and she kissed your teeth  
and she made you better than you'd been before  
she told you bad things you wished you could change in the lazy summer  
and she told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap  
she said, "nobody here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer"_

_but you've already lost  
but you've already lost  
but you've already  
when you only had barely enough to hang on_

_she said, "no one is alone the way you are alone"  
and you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known  
some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure  
days like that should last and last and last_

_but you've already lost  
but you've already lost  
but you've already lost  
when you only had barely enough of her to  
hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on._

**abc.**

She stood in the middle of the gravel drive, in a pair of shorts and an oversized tshirt. Her auburn hair was fluttering into her face as a cool breeze blew and she pushed it back, staring at the western sky with a curiosity that was far too innocent for a girl like her.

The horizon was a stunning shade of pink and red, the wisps of cloud illuminated the same colour and a familiar saying floated through her mind as her gaze travelled along the rest of sky, which was clear, blue and fading swiftly.

_Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky at morning, sailor's take warning._

She had never known a sailor and was sure she never would, but she stood there and wondered if a red sky really did mean good weather the next day. It didn't matter, she knew, but lately she doubted anything really mattered and it was nice to think of the weather for a change.

An aeroplane flew overhead and it wasn't close enough to hear, but the sky was so brilliantly unabashed that she could actually see it and the white trail it left behind. She always found them fascinating, and it gave her chills to see it, a sort of sign of civilization. She had grown so disconnected with the Muggle world that it was startling to her to remember it existed.

There had been times when he was angry with her, angry with her for being afraid and unsure of joining the Order -- He would tell her, he would shout at her and tell her to go back to being a Muggle, she was better suited for that. And oh, how she wished it were true -- How she wished she could abandon all of this tragedy and turmoil and magic and _him. _

She never could, though, and she joined the Order of the Phoenix the day she realized that she was in this for the long run.

**abc.**

It always felt different, August did. You could feel it in the air and she did that evening, she could taste it and smell it and it was just so different from the rest of summer.

Her feet were bare and the grass was dewy and it was hard to believe this was the last evening of July. But the chill in the air told it really was and she looked down at her shadow cast out over the gravel -- It made her legs appear long and slender and she remembered doing this as a child, always so amazed by shadows.

A year out of Hogwarts, just married and she never imagined this would be her life. She imagined something rather boring and aimless for the first year after graduating. Then perhaps she'd find something to do, find a source of income. She thought maybe she'd live with her sister and make some deicions, but here she was and _married_ to James Potter.

There were some days it still sounded ridiculous, some days she would shake her head and wonder if she was stupid, if they were both too eager. But mostly she was very glad she said yes while she had the chance to -- He was the only stable thing in her life.

And though she couldn't come to terms with some things, though she couldn't grasp all that was happening around her, she was so thankful for him. So completely thankful for him and she wasn't a religious girl, but she prayed for him every morning and every night and she wondered if _Red sky at night_ meant God was listening, or somebody was listening and they'd send him home to her.

She wanted to sleep with him with that sort of light washed over them, twilight's glow. She wanted him as close as he possibly could be and she found she missed him, achingly so, even when he was just away for a few hours -- There was always some sort of death imminent these days and she didn't feel quite as pathetic as she guessed she should for being so lonely for him.

**abc.**

He had come home -- it was well after eight o'clock and she hadn't even been aware of it -- and had returned outside with a cardigan of hers in his hand, offering it to her with a wide grin. It was boyish and endearing and she accepted the sweater with a word of thanks.

"You can feel the change in the air, can't you? Strange, I think, how it comes upon you so fast," He hunched his shoulders, running a hand back through his hair that she had recently cut for him, and then put both of his hands in his pockets.

Even now, after so very long together there was an underlying awkward tone to their relationship at times. Times when she felt thoughtful and he was reminded of why he fell for her in the first place -- He'd just stand there and look at her and it was nice to have him still love her green eyes and tell her so.

When she moved to put the cardigan on, he helped her slide her arms into the sleeves and then rubbed his hands over her shoulders and moved her hair to the side, kissing her neck.

"It's not quite over yet, though, Lily. I know you'll miss it when it's gone." She knew he meant the summer but she took it heavier than she should have and let her eyes close, long lashes brushing against her cheek before looking up at him and he was all aglow, all bathed in light and she wanted to pull him down onto the dewy ground.

There was the distinct smell of freshly cut grass and forever in the air, as they stood together -- Quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer.

**Fini.**


End file.
